I Still Go Through Repeating Traumatic Nightmares
about the 'Higher Self' person Experience.
I am definitely traumatised by it, and still trying to 'clear' it. It haunts me, and why I had to witness this.
The behaviour and the pleasure derived from degradation, indicate the person is in 'reversal'.
When the planet changes at Pole Shift, it is no longer able to sustain those who are in 'reversal'.
I believe that Higher Up while obviously 'knowing everything' does send someone in to check if a person/soul is able to be helped to get out of being trapped in the 'underworld' - for want of a better way to describe this. I think that is what happened. The activation for this literally entered the planet from outside and set this off.
This was a very great gift that was provided to this person. So great that it meant a difference for the time called 'Dividing of the Ways' when those who are what we are calling the 'Talmud consciousness' get removed from the planet at Pole Shift. It was a great gift.
I had no idea the person was the way he was, I thought it was about times of depression and that was associated with looking to find 'true' and loyal love. I thought it was because he had been stung by his failed marriage. A normal person, with depth and sensitivity. .A normal, decent man who wanted to find true love and a happy true marriage, but was understandably fearful about the hurt. .
But this is what continues to cause me bouts of trauma and horror.
I do have bouts when this really hits hard, and I feel literally physically sick and distressed about this.
I absolutely could not believe it as I gradually saw him being the disgusting, degenerate whore that he allows himself to be. I also slowly realised what he was doing, and had been doing for I suppose the preceding 10 years or so of running the hostel. This was far, far more degenerate than just the small amount I can write here. It covers his worldview, his attitude to women, his disrespect, and his sexual abuse of the young girls who go there. It is horrific that the person thinks or thought, this is/was okay, acceptable or perhaps even thought it was some kind of 'normal'.
I Continue To Experience Periodic Bouts of Trauma After Being in the 'Energy' of this Disgusting Person.
This section is about when I first saw that volunteers are expected or seen as there for sex with him. I would never have known that but for the 4 obscene 'in public' talks, but the one to comment on would be the gathering of a group of girls - way too many volunteers - and the talk about sex, which was the 'work briefing' and that after that, he did actually have one of them in his room. Just like that. In all those talks he was quite blatant about it. Probably the same when he took all volunteers out, socialising, and also to the river where he had some land. Probably deciding which one he was going f...k first.
Like a level of insolence that this is a selection of garbage he can 'choose' from. Like the girls in the Trump/Epstein video. The HS person is quite arrogant about it, sneering if he feels like it, yet these are nothing to write home about, just very ordinary, everyday, one dimensional girls. To be honest, you would think he could do better, yet really it is the girls who should be doing better.
But it is not only that. The rest of the time when there are not volunteers, he went out to the nightclubs, mostly twice a week, Thursday and Saturday, but it varied. It would be around midnight or later, and he said that people (guests) think he is there on the premises, but guests also think he is a good guy who is responsible, not that he's out as a predator 'sex hunting' like Epstein and Trump would do. The clubs are at their busiest, full of passing tourists there for 'fun' - which is another holiday related circumstance he can exploit to have random sex with any slut who is ready for a holiday screw. A very real predator.
But of course I had no concept that he would be a person like that. Most definitely I would never have believed it after the Soul Connection for 15 hours on Sept. 25th and 26th 2022, until a 'darkness' so clearly and definitely came in and broke that connection around 1 pm on the Monday.
And following the appearance of that "darkness' cutting in, this is what happened.
What followed after that 'Dark Force' came in - was the HS person decided to go after the Russian girl with the hair piece and hyena laugh, who was staying at the premises. It did not go anywhere but it took time to go nowhere. The weird thing is that that is what he did!
A complete 180 degree turnaround, as if he was lost in some darkness and could not see the way.
This had been an unprecedented SOUL LEVEL connection
with very clear telepathy happening. Massive. Yet he did a 180 degree turn in focus AWAY from was actually happening.
This crazy thing to do, clearly shows what the Dark Force does to this person.
It redirects him, and blocks out the person's connections with his 'True Self'. Keeps him away from anything that would WAKE HIM UP.
How could anybody who was functioning correctly have gone off into a totally wrong direction unless being controlled by that Dark Force? This person is constantly being led up deadend alleys because he cannot 'see'.
So October went into November for someone who was completely blind, leading to the 'okay, let's troll the nightclubs again'.
Getting ready to go clubbing, after midnight, is what he was doing around December 2022, I didn't realise that, not at all, and I had not ever seen any of this level of stuff about him at that time. It was a time when there was an enormous amount of 'inner connection' at the soul level between this person and myself. The descriptions provided are solely to try to find the way to put the horror of this across. Especially for any normal, decent person who was staying in that place as a guest.
For up to the time I left in September 2023, I thought that the going out to the local dive nightclub was an attempt to somehow find a 'nice' girl there. That would be a miracle, but I truly did think that that was why he did that. In around June, his mother was there, she helped with getting his usual clubbing shirt ready for bim, and it was as if she was there because of some 'depression' and she was encouraging him to go out and find a nice girl.
I can guarantee you, a nice, decent girl would be horrified to discover how this person behaves, and he has thrown away all chances of ever, EVER finding a 'nice girl' and a true love who would stay with him. He'll find the ones who would want it to work, and it can last for a while, but that is not the same thing. If this stuff is how he allows himself to be while waiting for a real true love to turn up, he's blown it.
I thought that he was a person of sensitivity and depth, because I never thought or dreamed 'Higher Up' would show me the soul level of this person - which was beautiful - and that the person could possibly be a person who was as he apparently is! I did not think the mad glint in his eyes when the young girls were there, and all the obscenity, the sheer level of it and the graphic detail that he was discussing loudly and with strangers, could be anything but some weird, misguided lack of understanding about how to be 'cool'.
I did not think he would deceive the 'ugly duckling' Russian volunteer in November by pretending he liked her - then mocking her to a male visitor after he'd told her what time to go to his bedroom, who asked who she was, and both of them laughing about her. I did not think he would stand there watching her pee beside the truck when they came back later that same night, clearly well and truly smashed, as he nodded his head and intently watched her peeing, in a kind of satisfied way, as if he was thinking "oh yes". It was 4 am, I was asleep but heard a car door slam so decided to go to the bathroom. I walked passed the big windows and saw the man standing there. It never registered who it was. Not until a bit later.
Standing there completely focussed on watching her pee, and nodding his head. That says it all about this person, doesn't it.
I really could not believe that this person was the degenerate piece of excrement that he actually is. He actually is this disgusting thing.
So hard to witness after 'Higher Up' had shown me the person at the 'soul level' - which is the 'Higher Self' person level.
Also he goes into the girl's bathroom when he knows a girl is in there, knowing the door does not lock the first time, and he goes into the girls dorm at night when everyone is asleep, legs sprawling. That is incredibly disrespectful, it objectifies girls as bodies to f...k, but if a man wants to see girls undressed he should look at magazines or movies, not girls who are guests and acquaintances. For that situation a decent man looks away. This is a dirty old man who is a sex pervert.
It was seeing this happen and witnessing the obscene public conversations that made the 'Higher Up' intention to help, so hard to do.
I Have Repeating Traumatic Nightmares
It was hard to do this, right from the beginning in March 2022 when for a then unknown reason the 'energy' was so off the charts terrible.
He was very 'snappy' which was something 'Higher Up' seemed to be able to ameliorate (make better). That was one thing that improved.
I was stuck in PV at that hostel during the wait until the covid restrictions were removed, and there is no hostel in PV that is okay to stay at. So I did do what was 'asked' of me, but it was so hard, as I have written below.
In 2024 I absolutely had had enough, especially after he picked up two people on Sunday July 14th and somehow in this scrambled brain of his, this mid 40's man thought it was cool to prance about in his underwear like a village retard, while going into the bedroom periodiclally for a blow job. This is when the two volunteers left in disgust, and what they told me, because I only saw the man in the common area and the HS person behaving like this - which maybe he thought was somehow 'cool'. Where does this 'embarrassment to humanity" come from? Where did he learn to behave like this and think it was good? Those two volunteers took their entire experience there, and reported it to as far as they could take it, and there were two girls before that who the HS person sexually assaulted and they reported that too.
I nevertheless did 'see it through' which was the last really important comm from 'Higher Up' in April 2024. The behaviour in November 2024 was too much, and again showed what a disgrace and filthy whore this turd is. That is despite there being any excuse, and despite that maybe the 'Dark Force' could clear if the person decided to deal with it. The person chooses to allow himself to be like this, he is capable of it, and he does it. To me, that is reason enough not to have the help to not be removed from this planet at Pole Shift.
I did decide I wanted to break all connection with the 'Dark Force' and any part of this absolutely filthy, filthy man. I don't think someone like this has any place in the future world. But it isn't about what I think. I still have trouble believing and accepting that this person was this, and it is this that gives me the nightmares, and the times when this all replays in my memory. I probably will have to go for some therapy about it, or some 'cleansing' of the energy from it.
Previous on this topic : "My Final Memories of the Higher Self Person" : PART 1. Report-account 'BOOK' : Puerto Vallarta Was a Shock